Monday, October 26, 2009

Mission Kate plus 8 minus Jon = Underway

Kate's one-hour special aired tonight. The producers chose several irrelevant questions from viewers but sporadically asked a few interesting ones. Kate proceeded to give vague answers and mention how much she loves her kids in almost every response.

Shocking, right?

As per usual, she was void of any likable personality and constantly used big words in the wrong contexts.

When asked if she thought the kids knew they were famous, she discussed how some of the their classmates mention that they see them on television. She instructed her children to say, "Thank you, but I don't really want to talk about it." Yeah, great advice mom. Now it'll be a cinch to make new friends! 

She followed that by saying, "It's just all about handling what is dealt to you, and handling it in a positive manner."

Dealt? Really, Kate? No one "dealt" you this hand. You chose to expose your life this way and continue to air you're dirty laundry the show, so paparazzi will follow you around. It comes with the territory, my friend.

Another great moment was when Kate talked about the popular Halloween wig of her hairstyle, followed by the explanation of why they couldn't put her name on the product. Basically, because then they would have to give her some of the proceeds. Which is too bad, because apparently they are back-ordered until the "end of time."

Hands down, the best part came when Kate discussed her "fans" and how flattered she was that people would come and wait in line for eight hours just to meet her. She then proceeded to state that she wouldn't wait eight hours to see anyone, not even Julia Roberts. Wow.

If you want a good laugh, I'll quickly mention the fact that Kate now aspires to be in a movie, or the voice of a cartoon because "it would, fun." Yeah, if there's any parts out there for a wordy, neurotic mom with a ridiculous haircut and Winnie the Pooh tattoo, she's got it in the bag.

Kate will have another chance to rack up the sympathy points discuss her side in a one-on-one interview with Natalie Morales in the TLC special event, Kate: Her Story, airing Monday at 9p.m.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Check out what's been going on this week

Here we go again.

The official end of Jon and Kate plus 8 is upon us. And what better way to go out than to give Kate her own one-hour special to rack up the sympathy points. In the special, which is set to air on Monday, Kate will answer viewer questions and talk about how desperate she is for publicity her life. Oh joy.

Shirin was sent home on Project Runway on Thursday for the less-than-stellar dress she designed for  Christina Aguilera. She definitely shouldn't have gone home in this challenge. Chris designed a horrendous pair of sequined booty shorts, which should be grounds for an immediate "out."  Hopefully he will finally be sent home next week and the universe will once again make sense.

Here's a shocker.

Stephanie Pratt, one of the wannabe stars of The Hills was arrested on Sunday for drunk driving. After getting her lips injected a few months ago, I didn't think she could possibly do anything more idiotic.

I guess we all have to be wrong sometimes.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Stars love Siriano's style

Since Christian Siriano's win on the fourth season of Project Runway, he's been super busy.

Designing clothes for celebrities that is.

Christian, 23, is my personal favorite Project Runway winner of all time. He also seems to be the only one doing big things with his win. His Spring 2009 collection was a hit at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, and garnered attention from many celebrities and fashion icons. Many have been spotted wearing his designs.

Heidi Klum, former Victoria's Secret model and host of Project Runway,  wore a dress straight from Christian's Spring 2009 line on stage at the Emmy Awards. The event must have fallen into one of the few spans of time when Heidi wasn't pregnant.

Tori Spelling attended Christian's show at Fashion Week wearing one of his designs. Spelling is best known for the role her father gave her as Donna Martin on Beverly Hills, 90210. She can now be seen in her terrible reality show, Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood on the Oxygen network. Maybe if she's keeps wearing Christian's outfits it'll distract everyone from her abnormally large head.

Whoopi Goldberg is a hilarious woman and a great actor, but she is definitely not known for her fashion sense. This dress was a pleasant surprise. She wore one of Christian's pieces when she hosted the Tony Awards in 2008. It was definitely a step up from the hideous dress she wore to the Academy Awards.

Christian is still as fierce as always.

Speaking of fierce, I just ordered Christian's  new book "Fierce Style: How to Be Your Most Fabulous Self."

In the book, Christian gives style advice, shares his personal journey to success, and reveals his own original sketches and behind-the-scenes photos. A must-read. Obviously.

Updates on the book coming soon!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Who are you and why are you famous?

When I was younger, I used to watch I Love Lucy religiously. Lucille Ball is one of the best actresses of all time...the Queen of Comedy! Although the show was in black and white and completely Rated-G, I still found it hilarious. I own Lucille Ball dolls, lunch-boxes, t-shirts, purses, playing cards, you name it. She's an idol. Someone to look up to for her talent and pioneering efforts.

But now little girls look up to Paris Hilton and Lauren Conrad. People who are famous for...oh wait, NOTHING. These women have no talent, mediocre personalities, and less than desirable reputations. Some if not all of them are famous for their looks, wealth, and/or family name, all or some of which allowed them short or far overdue stints on some realm of reality television.

I would be a hypocrite if I said that watching these duds on television was a waste of time, because I obviously am guilty of tuning in. But there is a difference between watching a show for entertainment purposes or envying their haircuts or handbags, and full-on idolizing them.

Back in the day, an idol was someone or something to which religious worship was addressed. Now when adult women actually go on a television show to try and earn the honor of being Paris Hilton's BFF,  I actually have to force the bile back down my throat. That is preposterous! She isn't an idol at all. She is just the daughter of a man who owns several hotels. Woo-hoo. (She did try to act a few times but all of her appearances were vomitous, including her infamous sex-tape. Stay classy Paris.)

Ok, so maybe I've been drinking some major Paris haterade but believe me, there are other equally as irrelevant-but-for-some-reason-relevant people to also hate on.

The non-talented section:

Nicole Richie

She is the daughter of singer Lionel Richie. She was best friends with Paris Hilton, and some imbecile gave the two of them a reality show called The Simple Life. During the show they lived with families in rural America and try to adapt to what life was like outside of Los Angeles. Apparently their were 5 seasons of this horrendous show. She then stayed in the headlines by dating other semi-celebrities, becoming anorexic, and having children with bizarre made-up names.

Ceiling Eyes Audrina Patridge

 She is one of the original cast members of MTV's The Hills. She just happened to live in the same building as the shows' star, Lauren Conrad, and POOF! Now she's famous for being young and semi attractive! The most revolting part really is that she makes a whopping $100,000 per episode of The Hills. For a girl with zero personality, a non-existent vocabulary, and no talent whatsoever, she's doing pretty well for herself.

Kate Gosselin

Best known as the "Kate" in "Jon and Kate plus 8." You've heard the story. She has eight half-Asian children under the age of 9. During the first few seasons of the show, it was entertaining to see a set of twins and sextuplets thriving. The part that always made you want to change the channel was Kate's constant complaining and bickering. She exploited her children for five years so that she could reap the benefits and not have to work for the rest of her life and gallivant around town and have sitters watch her kids spend time with her children. She is now going through a nasty divorce, all publicly of course, and both she and Jon are in the process of finding new reality shows to pursue. The only talent they have are solid reproduction skills.

These people were handed fame and fortune for doing nothing.

Lucille Ball was one of a kind. REAL actresses look up to her for her talent and try to emulate her in their craft. These women are on television for legitimate reasons and have earned their fame by possessing innate abilities to perform and entertain professionally. They are the people we should pay attention to.

The talented section:

Debra Messing 

Yes they are both redheads, but that's not the only thing Debra Messing has in common with Lucille Ball. She is hilarious. Throughout her 8 year stint on NBC's Will & Grace, her quirkiness and impeccable comedic timing  had people referring to her as a modern version of Lucille Ball. Now that is a compliment if I've ever heard one. She is also intelligent. She attended college and would actually be able to do something outside of acting if she really wanted to.

Sandra Bullock

Yet another hilarious actress. I literally laugh out loud at this woman. Even though the plots of her movies are usually terrible, she is always funny. Her timing and improvisations are always right on the mark. She also has range. She acted in and produced several of her films including her most recent, The Proposal. Sandra is also a college graduate and can add intelligence to talent on her repertoire. What a gal.

 If you find yourself in the non-talented section, you are perfect for: reality television, tabloid scandals, and a limited time of fame or infamy. You should not be admired or emulated by anyone. You are there for people to laugh at.

So try to be like Sandra Bullock kids! Don't try to be like Nicole Richie.

Got it?

Friday, October 9, 2009

Where do they find these people?

These are some of my favorite reality show cast members of all time, and here's why:

5.) Katie Doyle (Road Rules: The Quest, 2001)

She may be petite, but she is one crazy bitch. It's hilarious.

4.) Kim Stolz (America's Next Top Model, cycle 5)

She was a mediocre model, but so sarcastic and hilarious. Her androgyny was also fascinating.

3.) Kristin Cavallari ( Laguna Beach, 2004-2006; The Hills, 2009)

The promotions for the new season of The Hills let us all know that "The Bitch is Back," and Kristin hasn't disappointed yet. She's doesn't give an eff what people think about her, which always makes for great television!

2.) David Cook (American Idol, Season 7, 2008)

This dude has a kick-ass voice. And he's beautiful.


1.) Christian Siriano

At first he was just an annoying pipsqueak with a bizarre haircut. But he was just so fierce, I ended up loving him.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Su casa es mi casa, bitch

People will do anything for money. That is a given.

And no one makes that more evident than the contestants on the RW/RR Challenges. This year on "The Ruins," they've already started playing dirty, and it's only the second episode! Usually they can hold out until the end to plot, scheme, and back-stab.

But both teams jointly decided to pit Evelyn and Kelly Anne (the BFF's of the show) against each other. That's dirty.

Of course, Evelyn couldn't bare to put up a real fight against Kelly Anne, so she put on a pathetic show and then quit in the end.

Although that was harsh, the lowest-blow came at the end of the show.

Here's some background: Johanna used to date Wes (yuck), but he has now moved on to Kelly Anne and Johanna has become a big slut-face. So everyone hates Wes and wants him to go home, and he wants to stay to continuously throw challenges and make his team lose.

Here's where the ridiculousity comes in.

When Wes and Johanna were dating, Wes purchased a $300,000 home that he now lives in, but here's the kicker...the deed is in Johanna's name. So toward the end of the episode, Johanna approaches Wes and tells hims that if he throws the final challenge, where she could potentially win over $100,000, she will "sell the house and keep all of the money." That was enough to make Wes pee his pants a little.

Well played, Johanna. Well played.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Please spare us a Spencer Jr.

The latest episode of The Hills aired tonight.


- Audrina stood Kristin up for lunch. (Ouch!)

- Kristin kissed Justin Bobby. (She wastes no time!)

- The troublemaker Stephanie told Audrina that Kristin kissed Justin Bobby and Audrina proceeded to have a mini faux-panic attack. (Huh?)

- Spencer (aka The King of Douchebaggery) was mean to a 6-year-old... a 6-year-old!!

And I hope this isn't a recurring issue this season, but Heidi keeps trying to convince Spencer that they should procreate. (I know, I feel the bile rising in my throat too)

Spencer Pratt is arguably the most egotistical, rude, obnoxious DOUCHEBAG who ever lived. The last thing anyone needs is Spencer and Heidi reproducing. Nothing could come of that but some poor little soul destined to be as stupid and arrogant as its parents. It's Lose-Lose.

PLEASE don't do it! I"m begging you! Spare us all!

Luckily for us, Spencer doesn't seem to want a child (because he's too self absorbed to think of anyone but himself) and since Heidi is a complete doormat, the world may be able to sleep sound for a while.

Monday, October 5, 2009

What's been going on this week you ask?

Heidi Klum seems to be pregnant on every hiatus from Project Runway. She's due with her fourth child any day now. She was recently spotted on the Santa Monica Pier and she looks ready to burst! (Celebrity Baby Blog)

Divorce is always nasty, and Jon and Kate are no exception just because they're money hungry famous. In the ugliest turn yet, Kate has accused Jon of "stealing" $200,000 from their joint bank account. Apparently he only left Kate with a measly $1,000. Boo fricken hoo. (People.)

Jon then issues an official statement saying Kate's claims are "a total fabrication." It's like his paycheck! (Us Magazine)

Simon Cowell turns 50, and appropriately spends over $1 million on a party for himself. But apparently he was too much of a tight ass to actually enjoy it. Who woulda thunk it? But Simon, seriously, now that you're 50...can you please ditch the v-necks next season? Thanks! (NY Daily News)

DJ AM series still set to air

MTV stated today that "Gone Too Far," a show created by the late Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein, who passed away at the end of August, will still air. The show is a documentary about the struggle of young drug addicts. DJ AM is there to help them overcome their addiction by sharing his own recovery story. Goldstein's family has consented to the airing of the show because they believe, "Adam felt strongly that by doing this series, he could help other addicts who were at a crisis point to get sober."

While the shows' purpose is admirable, it seems contradictory to air it when Goldstein's death was reportedly caused by an apparent drug overdose. Hopefully, his parent's are allowing this to go on because it really may help others, thought I can't help but think they may just be reaping the benefits of it's projected success.

The show is set to begin it's 8 episode run on October 12, at 10 p.m. on MTV.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Bitch Really is Back

The first episode of The Hills premiered tonight and was exactly what we were all expecting. There was tons of unnecessary drama, over-acting, and of course...a faux cat-fight. All of this chaos ensued from the arrival of the shows' new star, Kristin Cavallari.

I know I will get flak for this, but I'm glad Kristin's back. Every since the Laguna Beach days, Kristin has always been more fun to watch than Lauren.

Lauren has never appealed to me. She's one of those girls who plays dumb around guys, has zero personality, and a minimal vocabulary. Who really wants to watch that? Not me.

Kristin, on the other hand, has drama surrounding her everywhere she goes, and of course that's the entertaining part. She's stealing boyfriends, getting in people's faces, and starting heated arguments in public places. It's great.

And for $90,000, which is what Kristin is reportedly making per episode, she can do whatever the hell she wants, the producers even encourage it!

In just this one episode she managed to fight with half the cast and make her presence known by flirting with Audrina's ex-boyfriend...on Audrina's birthday. Which is all exactly what MTV wants her to do.

Now, I seriously hope that people aren't taking any of this show seriously, because it is so obviously scripted it's painful. Kristin even came out and admitted in an article for the LA Times that "It's just so...fake. There's no truth to it. At all."

Well, duh.

The whole purpose of the show at this point is basically to fuel Joel McHale's act on The Soup. But still, young girls will tune in by the dozen (myself included) just to get a good laugh. So tune in next Tuesday at 10pm for more staged meetings and scripted conversations!

Jon minus 9

It's official. Jon has signed off of TLC's "Jon and Kate Plus 8." According to CNN, Jon will appear on a "less regular basis," than he does now, and the show will be renamed "Kate plus 8," and focus more on Kate's perspective.

Now that's where TLC went wrong. It would have been far more entertaining to create a show around Jon's new life rather than Kate's, which will be the same as always.

No one wants to watch Kate.

I will admit that Jon is being a huge d-bag lately, but I would much rather watch his life fall apart than Kate pretend to be the "strong one," coming through "for the kids." Ew.

"Jon minus 9," would make good TV. Jon trying to fit in with the mid-20's crowd by rocking Ed Hardy t-shirts and obnoxious diamond stud earrings, now that's entertainment.

Link Love

Want more? Here's a list of other great links to find updates and news on you're favorite reality shows !

The Best for Overviews and Breaking News:

Reality TV World

Reality Blurred

Reality TV Online

The Best for Humorous Highlights:

The Soup

Cool Show-Specific Blogs:

Top Model Gossip

Top Chef: Chewing it up and Spitting it Out

Tara's Biggest Loser Blog

Project Rungay

Jon and Kate Plus 8

The Hills Blog

Monday, September 28, 2009

I Hate Kate plus her Pretense

As you may know, Kate served as a guest-host on "The View" last week while the equally annoying Elisabeth Hasselbeck went on hiatus to have yet another baby that she can raise to be as ignorant and self-righteous as she is. But I digress.

Kate got schooled by Whoopi on the show when they discussed an altercation that took place at the Gosselin's home in Pennsylvania. Apparently Kate went to the house during Jon's designated custody time because she didn't approve of a certain babysitter, who later publicly stated she was having a sexual relationship with Jon.

Whoopi gave Kate a verbal slap on the wrist for her actions, which Kate admits were wrong in retrospect. But this is the part that makes me want to vomit. Kate says:

"I"m not out to win any awards, I'm just out to be the best mother I can be."

Now let's just take a minute to examine this statement. Anyone who has watched the show from the beginning can see the obvious change between Kate from season one, and the money-hungry tanorexic that appears before us today.

While she has not-so subtly changed herself physically, she's now constantly trying to play the "I"m just trying to be a good mom," card, while her actions speak to the contrary.

In the earlier seasons of the show, Kate was constantly complaining and roaming around in her PJ's while the kids just ran around the house. Now they're going on some sort of faux trip or vacation (paid for by TLC I'm sure) during every episode where she takes the opportunity to hug and kiss the kids and tell them how much they mean to her.

She was never as overly affectionate or as verbal about her goal to be a "great mom," as she is now. In all the articles, appearances, and even during her interviews for "Jon and Kate plus 8," she always throws in "My kids are the most important thing in the world to me," or "I just want to be a good mom," which is a complete show she's putting on for the public so she can stick it to Jon.

It is appalling that she spent the past four years walking all over her husband and exploiting her children, and now she's acting like the victim because the whole time she was just trying to be the "best mom she could."

FALSE. She was out to make money, and she still is. You would think she would be done after the show...maybe write a book about her nasty divorce, and then go into hiding. That way she would actually be able to spend some time with her kids.

But no, no. She is planning a new talk show with Food Network star Paula Deen. Now she will see her kids even less than she did before. Yeah, what a great mom. But I guess she's going to have to make money somehow, because she is going to have 8 hefty therapy bills on her hands sometime in the near future.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Shoulder wings are IN


Select a film genre, and create a character who lives in that genre. (Action/Adventure, Film Noir, Science Fiction, Period Piece, and Western)

This should be interesting. I hope whoever gets western doesn't use chaps in any way.

I wonder who's job it is to come up with the challenges? I somehow doubt Heidi does it alone.

The challenges this season have definitely improved from past years, but it seems to be tradition that one of the best designers cracks under the pressure of having these kind of design constraints. Remember Christian's horrid 80's gold taffeta dress? I shutter to think.

Work Room:

Ra'Mon you absolutely can not start from scratch at this point. That never, ever works out well.

Ah Louise! Needle under your fingernail! OUCHIE!

Logan is so attractive...I hope he's not gay. That would be tragic.

I don't know if I believe Althea is 23. More like 28...If we're being real here.

Runway Show: My Thoughts

Irina (Film Noir) - The cape is unnecessary, but the dress is tailored well.

Carol Hannah (Action/Adventure) - A little too dominatrix for my taste, but definitely something Angelina Jolie would wear in one of her faux-action movies.

Shirin (Western) - The judges will probably think it's "too costumy," and maybe a little too can-can. Not great, but she'll probably be safe.

Christopher (Period Piece) - Definitely looks like a period piece, but he could have made it a bit more modern in the silhouette.

Nicolas (Science Fiction) - The sci-fi angel? But her wings are on her shoulders? Minus that I actually think the dress is very beautiful.

Althea (Film Noir) - Very nice. Tailored well. Hair could use some work.

Ra'Mon (Science Fiction) - Very science fiction. Mission accomplished. But the color is grotesque.

Louise (Film Noir) - Feather FAIL. I can't even concentrate on the dress.

Epperson (Western)- Not a fan of him, but this dress is very good. Western with a modern feel. Well done.

Gordana (Period Piece) - I love the 1920's flapper style, but I hate that color.

Logan(Action/Adventure) - Not a huge fan of this. It looks like a pleather jumpsuit with a plunge v-neck. Who would wear this? Oh yeah, Angelina.

The Judges Thoughts:

Top Three: Nicolas, Christopher, Epperson
Bottom Three: Gordana, Louise, Ra'Mon


Winner Should Be: Nicolas
Winner Will Be: Christopher

Who Should Go Home: Louise
Who Will Go Home: Louise


Winner: Nicolas
( Yay! Well deserved)

OUT: Ra'Mon
(Appauling. Louise should have went home for that
ridiculous, vomitous dress. I knew one of the better designers would
go home on this challenge.)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Reality of it All

I’ll admit it, I like reality television.

My DVR is set to record every episode of Project Runway, my friend’s all come over for American Idol, and yes, I planned my class schedule around Jon and Kate plus 8.

There’s just something about watching people, relationships, and of course, DRAMA, all from the comfort of your own home. It’s the one chance we get to completely judge someone else’s life without a second thought.

Here you will find overviews of new episodes of several reality shows with some witty commentary scattered throughout. There will also be cast bios, updates on past cast members, and a deeper look into the shows and their purposes.

Did you hate what Heidi Klum was wearing last night? Do you think Lauren Conrad has the intelligence level of a cardboard box? This is a place to let it all out, no holds barred. I'm going to! Ok, I have to go...Top Chef is on!